It is amazing that two important and complex icons (MJ and Farrah) passed on yesterday. And yet it is no coincidence. I wonder if they met now. I bet they can appreciate and find comfort in each other.

Yes, MJ is definitely a light worker, who tapped into higher realms. At Clinton's inauguration he had children of every ethnicity holding hands and singing truth's that triggered fear in many who were not yet ready to embrace it as their reality. No matter how sickly the media machine portrayed the man, his life and legacy shine on. Did all the negative media affect him? Obviously, yes. Can we honestly hold it against MJ that the shielded his kids as much as he could from the media, and appeared rather paranoid when he did show his kids covering them with big scarves? And yet, it says more about the ugliness of the people that call themselves journalists, who set out to interview him while already bought into bias and speculation, and social conditioning. Like sleeping with a child that is not 'your own' just has to be perverted. Who ever came up with that idea? I don't know about you, but I sure have slept with children who were not 'mine'. Anyone who thinks that is perverted is off their rocker, and obviously wrapped up in their own or someone elses perverted mind. And I do wonder about the motivation of the parents of this child involved in the infamous settlement out of court. How perverted were the parents? They allowed their young child to have a sleep over at the 'King of Pop', without having any personal connection with MJ. From where I'm sitting it looks as if the parents 'pimped out' their child just to drag MJ to court with nasty and unfounded accusations. And I wonder how this affected the child, who may for all we know still be a fan. In a just world these parents, their lawyers and the 'journalists' who were all involved in profiting from this monstrocity they created (showing the baby who ws securely in his father's grip dangling over the balcony for a few seconds over and over again - only is telling of how the media is paid to portray fear of what could have happened even if it obviously never did) are to provide community service to children in need for the rest of their lives. I would love to see the parents show their son how they are making a difference now, and how sorry they are for what they did to him and his idol. They might actually find peace and fulfillment doing it. Very unlikely this will ever transpire, yet it was fun picturing it. The point of it all is just the experience, finding a way to accept it as is, unanswered questions and all, no matter how painful or uncomfortable.

How could I ever be so sure of MJ's innocense? Am I starstruck? Not at all. I'm not the type as I dare see myself as a star who is famous in heaven just like many seemingly ordinary folks around us. We are the lucky ones who can live our lives in relative privacy - free of harrassing media.
It is intuition and observation. I observed the body language of interviewers as well as MJ in the footage I viewed during the ABC special last night... And what is innocense anyway? Not guillty. Guilt serves no one. Does innocense serve anyone? I overheard a lawyer describe Michael as being naive. Isn't that a form of innocense?

Shine on Michael. You are infinitely loved by more people then you and I know. You did your share to help bring the concept of oneness back into the realms of possibility in this world. And I thank you.

And Farrah. The hair. I too sported a Farrah coiffe for years, without ever even thinking about her. Yet, she was the one who made that style famous. She and I both had in common that we wished to be recognized for something other than just looks. Because we had more to offer, and maybe there was this fear underneath of maybe not being enough. And then sometimes it was enjoyable to be in the spotlight just for being beautiful. I could see her enjoy it. What a thrill to be 50 and pose for playboy. How liberating to turn yourself into a living object of art with your naked body covered in paint, and look absolutely scrumptious. The bombshell, the babe, the warrior woman and the vulnerable little girl just wanting to love and be loved. No amount of fame or money can buy it. And then there's the mom in her, who learned the hard way that she had to give up control by watching her son go out of control. It's a theme that every mother most likely does encounter to some degree. And she loves him no matter what. That love is returned to her no matter what. By her son and by her soul mate who she was smart enough not to marry. And yet there was a part of her always wondering, what if...? Always considering possibilities.

I salute you Farrah. Thank you for sharing of yourself in so many ways. An outstanding woman, mother, friend, lover, icon, and yes, a goddess. I celebrate the expression of your life in all its splendor, complexity, ugliness and beauty. How else can one experience the difference? I picture you as the infinite star light that you are. Standing tall in your presence. Always willing to go out on a limb and see what can be learned. I can see you watch over your men. You are not leaving them, not until you are certain that they have the support they need to go on. Not until they find a way to tap into their resources, to feel their connection with you and be fed by the love that sustains it. And I picture you exploring astral travel with delight and reckless abandon. Hope you had a run in with your fellow star Michael. Tell him I say hi, because I could see you two hit it off and share notes and soar to even greater heights.

Shine on Farrah. Spread the light and the love that feeds it. Thank you for invoking the realization that in order to see the big picture, we start by seeing eachother big. As big as you, as big as MJ, and even bigger as we all continue to grow. Doing our part on either side or location in this vast universe born of consciousness, rooted in the desire to exist.

Namaste,
Nell ;-)

Helpdesk: Good morning, how can I help you? Customer: I want to install love. Can you help me with that? Helpdesk: Yes, of course. Are you sure you are ready? Customer: Well I’m not that technical, but I think I am ready for it. What is the first thing to do?


Helpdesk: The first step is the opening of your Heart. Can you find it? Customer: Yes, certainly, but there are several other programs in use. Can these continue to run during installation? Helpdesk: Which programs exactly? Customer: Let me have a look. At the moment Old-pain.exe, Low-Self-Esteem.exe, Rage.exe and Resentment.com are running.


Helpdesk: No problem. Old-pain.exe is gradually deleted by Love from your current operating system. It could be that it will remain present in the memory, but then it will no longer interfere with other programs. Low-Self-Esteem.exe is eventually overwritten by a module of Love. It is called High-Self-Esteem.exe. But Rage.exe and Resentment.com are programs you must close completely. These programs prevent a proper installation of Love. Can you close them? Customer: I don’t know how…


Helpdesk: Go to the start menu, click on Forgiveness.exe. You do this just as long as it takes to delete Rage.exe and Resentment.com completely. Customer: OK, done. But now Love has started by itself. Is that normal? Helpdesk: Oh yeah. You must be getting a message that it is being installed for the remaining life of your Heart. Are you receiving this message. Customer: Oops, I’m getting an error message.


Helpdesk: Which error message? Customer: It says “Error 412 – program is not used in internal components” What does that mean? Helpdesk: Oh, no panic, that is a problem that is not uncommon. It means that Love is set up to be executed on external Hearts, but that it is not yet running on your own Heart. It may sound complicated but in lay terms it means that you can only practice Love for others after it runs on your own computer.


Customer: How do I do this? Helpdesk: Can you open the directory Self-acceptance? Customer: Got it, yes. Helpdesk: Now click on the files Know-your-worth.txt and Recognize-your-limits.doc and copy these to the My-Heart directory. The computer will overwrite all files that continue to cause problems and correct programs with errors. You must erase Exaggerated-Self-criticism from all directories, and empty the recycle bin. This ensures that the program is permanently removed and can never again return.


Customer: Done. Woop-tee-doo! New files are flowing into my Heart… Smile.mpg is running on my screen and instantly indicates that Peace.com and Contentment.com are being overwritten in my Heart. Is that all right? Helpdesk: That happens on occasion, yes. So Love is now installed and running. If all is well, you should be able to cope fine by yourself from now on.


Source: Happinez

Oh dear...

Just found out I missed yesterday's GoddSCircle. So sorry. Wonder how you all are.

Checking in.

I've been sick, sick, sick. coughing up phlegm, getting rid of old sadness linked to Joe, who has also been very sick. Finally starting to feel a little better. Now that Joe is seriously looking into Asheville I'm starting to worry that it's a bit too tucked away (no major airport near it). I'm beginning to look at Ashland, OR and vicinity and LOVE what I'm seeing there. Bottom line is: we are going to have to travel to these areas and see for ourselves.

Joe QUIT smoking! I'm overjoyed. He's a royal pain in the ass, and it's alright, well worth the aggravation. Yesterday he yelled at me that he was so mad at me he'd rather not talk to me at all. "I don't even want to acknowledge that you exist." And so on that note I replied: "Goodbye then" and went for a nice long walk with my friend Ann. We reflected on how much we are going to miss each other after our move. I thought of you all - my fellow GoddSses and wonder how I'll be moving on without meeting with you regularly. Feels to me like bleeding from a major artery. Talked about that with Ann too. Ann is so good to us. She took Max to a science fair at the middle school in town, so that Max could have a break from his funky folks. He had witnessed Joe's outburst while Benji was napping. I'd only been home a few minutes when Ann picked up Max. I'd already given Joe a bowl of salad as a peace offering. He accepted gratefully.  "Did you get a chance to calm your nerves?" He nodded, and just looked at me with an embarrassed expression on his face. I didn't need for him to apologize - his face told me enough.

Joe is a bit of a hard-ass when it comes to giving up something, reminds me of someone I know very well. She's... well... typing these words.

I know Joe: it took forever to make that decision to quit, but once that decision is made, there is no going back on it. He's doing acupuncture to help with the cravings, taking 1 nicorette gum every other day after two weeks of not smoking, and he's about to give that up too as it aggravates abscesses that are forming in his mouth (one at a time). Somehow all the toxins in his lungs have to find a way out. Coughing up phlegm apparently is not enough. Joe had this Chinese treatment with suction cups on his back and a heat pad on the front. His back was purple (like a gigantic hickey) and his chest a blotchy red afterward. I'm just amazed at how well Joe is coping with everything. So what if he has to blow up now and then. It's just the old mind-f*ck. This too shall pass. I just have to remember not to take anything personally. Joe is still my hero, even if he occasionally balks under that pressure.

While I was typing all this I coughed up phlegm three times. Goodbye old sadness. Hello joy. I'm about to embark on a joyful journey. I feel it in my bones. The sun is shining. I'm going to soak up some of that now.

Love,
Nell ;-)

I can learn to be more forgiving
about my body
about anything
more forgiving to anyone

I can be more forgiving
when I let go
of beliefs that do not serve me
and even those that I think
do serve me
After all whatever stone or gem I drop
can always be picked up again

I can be more forgiving
when I embrace ALL possibliities
I can be more forgiving
when I practice Tonglen

Eyes closed
Opening
Breathing in loving light
Exhale what does not serve

Allow,

            allow,

                        allow

S       P       A       C       I       O       U       S       N       E       S       S

In, around and behind the heart

Third eye open

Listening
deep within tuning in
to echoes resonating sound vibrations
from ancient ancestry beckoning
to give birth to new beginnings

Breathing
drawing in loving light
from within and without
Allowing this light
to flow within
Exhale
and to flow without

Seeing tiny bits of blue
bright golden yellows fanning out
to orange, red dancing
licking flames raging into
a blazing fire

Gasp - how big it is
Growing still
How big can I get?
How can I give way to this
explosive demolition site inside?

Opening
Breathing in loving light
Love is patient - Love is kind
Exhale what does not serve
Let it burn, let go

Allow,

            allow,

                        allow

S       P       A       C       I       O       U       S       N       E       S       S

In, around and behind the heart

Third eye open

Being
A vessel
Vibrantly radiating loving light
A shooting star

Dear ones who read this,

dive in here to be inspired:

http://pods.gaia.com/creativewriting/discussions/view/328867

The more vistors who take the impressions shared here to heart,
the better off we all are.

Breath taking views. 
Tugs at the heart strings
Feeling the love that is older
Than the ancient pyramids

It is eternal, outliving who we think we are
Yet it is new every time it is shared
here among us
Taking on different forms

Yum! I get to bathe here sweating out toxins
in the energy of the hotter stars
refreshed by masterfully crafted images
and a bucket of icy cold water

To you Chris, and to all
who contribute here,
I bow humbly
While the goddess within rejoices

Namaste,
Nell ;-o

This one's for you, dear one. The expression on this little man's face is priceless.
From Brussels, with Love!

Loulou and Pepper are growing up beautifully, and it's now time for them to go and get spayed. We have an appointment for Monday at the vet in Westbury, NY. Loulou has had several heat cycles now, and really wants help in resolving that issue as it bothers her to the point where she looks at me helplessly, making big eyes: "Please help me". Pepper has had only one heat cycle so far. She used to look at her sister in heat and roll her eyes. She'd throw me a look "I would never behave that way", and I assured her: "You'll get it too". Pepper looked at me in disbelief. Lo and behold, it did happen to her once. There were moments she sounded like a crying babe, while throwing her body in spasms, rear end facing upward just like her sister.

As I communicate with my cats, I tell them of this procedure I know, which seems to be the best way to take care of those heat cycles. Loulou is all for it. Pepper is not. She's scared, freaked out by it really. Beata, my quintessential mom has a dream about her where she is having a surgery, and somehow there is a mix-up with an ovary and an intestine. Pepper comes out of surgery ghost-like.

When Beata shares her dream with me I tell Pepper not to worry anymore. If she has any physical defect, she is not having the surgery. I tell her we'll talk to Nedda again, just like we did a few months ago when we had a minor issue between the girls that needed to be resolved. Nedda Wittels, who is not to be defined by any one thing, is guided to communicate very clearly with animals, like no one I've ever met before.
http://www.raysofhealinglight.com/  

We just had our session, (via phone) which I will try to share as best as I can. Nedda had all the info on the cats from a previous session: their DOB, physical appearance, their home and surroundings, family members, etc. So we dove right into the issue at hand. I communicate my concerns with Nedda, fully expecting both cats will be miserable waking up from the anasthesia. Nedda stops me in my tracks and says, "Let's not put that image out, there are ways to make animals more comfortable. She suggests I tell the vet not to use Ketamine, (commonly used for anesthesia in cats) because in her experience all cats wake up from it very drowsy and disoriented. She describes what she did for her cat Violet when she got spayed to alleviate stress and lessen trauma, and explains that we can do these things for Loulou and Pepper too. Basically it involves clearing the body energetically to prepare for surgery, and she does a space clearing of the veterinary clinic with the help of Angels and other beings of the Animal Kingdom. In part it serves to guide lingering souls of animals in crossing over, instead of causing upsets and fear. The space clearing also involves emotional and psychological support for the doctor, staff and all involved, so all can go smoothly. She arranged with the vet that her cat could return home the very same day, staying in a confined space. Her other cat spent the night with her, which went very well. She asks the name and address of the vet. She will get in touch with the higher being of the vet on the day of the space clearing. 

Then she moves on to Loulou and Pepper, getting in touch with their higher beings.. Initial hello's go back and forth. Right away, Pepper does not like where the conversation is going. Loulou is fine with having the procedure, would love to get it over with already. Loulou says she's willing to help Pepper face her issue.

First Nedda talks about the usefulness of spaying felines. "Let's talk about the procedure as if you don't know anything yet. You know how there are many unwanted kittens born every day." They do, as they were adopted from a shelter. Nedda continues: "Cats keep going in heat, becoming more sexually frustrated, wanting to get impregnated, and eventually start growing tumors. She has seen this in many cats. This procedure is the healthiest way to resolve the problems. Now she shares what else is involved: Fasting the night before the surgery so that no vomit gets in the way at the time of surgery. Cats are familiar with the benefits of fasting anyway, so neither Loulou nor Pepper has an issue with it.  We go over every detail, going in the car, driving to the vet, likely leaving them overnight. Yet if the vet can agree, I will pick my girls up at closing time on the same day. Nedda speaks about clearing their bodies and the space for them to have a smooth surgery and recovery. Nedda assures Loulou and Pepper that I picked a very qualified and skilled doctor.

Again, Loulou states she is fine with it. Pepper is not. She is scared. Very scared. "Want to talk about that some more?" "Aha, there was a past life. The last one before this one. Pepper died during surgery of complications. There is a memory left in her 2nd chakra, the very spot where she had the surgery that went wrong. "Can I put my hands on it?" Nedda asks. "Yes." Pepper confirms. Nedda: "It's gone now. I can feel a shift. Do you feel a shift, Pepper?" "Yes," Pepper confirms she feels it too. "Now lets go to the heart" let's wrap it in love, and trust, melting away the fear. "Ah, that feels sooo good" says Pepper. "Nell you can do this too, at times when you think of it, just hold thoughts of Pepper in your heart chakra, wrap her in Love."

"I have to admit," Nedda says. "I do not have x-ray vision, but energetically all is clear".

Nedda: "Loulou is showing a vision of the two of them coming out of the surgery fine, recovering well and playing, living a long life together as sisters. Pepper too wants to live a long life with her sister. That is why they are here. This is their intention. Now let's have a clear intention of going into surgery well, and recovering from it very well, with a long life together. You girls can have a long life ahead of you, at least some twenty or so more years. Loulou and Pepper agree, that is what they want."

Nedda: "There are some (Bach Flower) remedies you can use to help alleviate fear and anxiety. Mimulus is used especially to relieve anxiety, and Aspen relieves fear. Use 4 drops or so in their food twice daily. Rescue remedy is not recommended before anesthesia, but is helpful afterwards, along with arnica. 4 drops each 2 x daily."

I share with Nedda my remedies from Aquarius Wholism: "First Help Angel". Nedda is very impressed. The energy is very gentle, and very appropriate for the occasion. Yes, Nedda agrees, you can use it instead of the Bach flower remedies, before and after surgery.

The next one, also from Aquarius Wholism, "Revital", Nedda recommends for after the surgery. As she tunes into it she feels it works on a cellular level. She is impressed.

I then bring up the third remedy from Aquarius Wholism, called Wholly Grail. Nedda feels this one working on a heart level. I bring up that it also brings very vivid third eye action. Pepper says she's had enough psychic action for now. Nedda recommends it for after the surgery.

Next I raise the issue of play fighting. I understand the need for my girls to practice their skills as they are transitioning into being able to be indoors as well as outdoors. But I wonder if there is a need for Loulou to be injured, she has a few nicks here and there, crusty patches of exposed, scabbed skin. I mention that we have a huge male feral cat roaming our neighborhood, with a viscious, mean streak. A survivor who has been around for 8+ years. Frodo, who passed in '06 once got into a fight with him. I am wondering if the cats feel a need to be extra rough in preparation to be outdoors and stand up to him.

Nedda asks what the cats have to say. Loulou says Pepper thinks she is too soft at times and is wacking her a bit to toughen her up. Pepper says that's sometimes true, and sometimes she just gets carried away. Loulou says she unconcerned with it all. Pepper also says that there is no need at all for Loulou to get injured once she learns properly how to duck! We laugh together. 

Nedda talks about other ways to escape fights, hiding, withdrawing, knowing when and where to do these things. Pepper and Loulou agree this is good information. Nedda wonders whether she should ask her semi-feral cat, Haley, who she feeds outdoors if she could show them some things. She cannot make any promises, as Haley is not big on communicating with her. Meanwhile there's a lot going on. Frodo is knocking. Coming through louder and louder while Nedda talks about her semi-feral cat. Hellooooooo-oh! 

"Frodo seems to want to take this on, Nedda." I say. "She is knocking." Nedda takes Frodo's info (description of her physique before she died - all white shorthair with a mohawk shaped gray spot above the eyes on top of the head - and exactly what year she passed - 06).

Frodo is overjoyed to be acknowledged. She too has a message. She is doing very well, and is looking forward to take on another body soon. This is exciting news since she is a very evolved being. She says she wants to come back and live with us again! I tell her that honestly, I do not know how Joe would react to having another cat in the household. Frodo tells me not to worry about that. We have time as she is planning on being born this Spring. She'll be the little one then, but says she'd love to be the dominant one. Nedda says: "That needs to be worked out among the three of you. Frodo says we can work on Joe together. I tell Frodo to find her way in. Nedda says: "There are many ways to get assistance with this. Let's talk about Loulou and Pepper now. Are you willing to assist them with survival skills for the outdoors while you are still in spirit?"

Frodo is happy to assist. She is an avid climber, and as Nedda decribes what Frodo is saying I am seeing the images she interprets. So neat! Nedda explains that young kitties are great at climbing, but not always as great at coming back down. Frodo promises she will show them. She is eager to do this. Pepper and Loulou acknowledge Frodo. Yes, they do know eachother. It was Frodo who helped out behind the scenes to get Loulou and Pepper adopted into our family. And the sisters would love for Frodo to come live wth us as a new kitten. So nice to hear this confirmed!

Pepper and Loulou are jumping up and down ecstatically at the prospect of Frodo showing them the ropes outdoors. Nedda and I agree that the girls are to stay indoors for two weeks after their procedure. Frodo is so happy to have shared her message, and to feel the love.

Nedda gives me a moment to express my Love to Frodo, as well as Loulou and Pepper. It is one Love fest, and there's a lot of purring. All are echoing back their Love.  It's like I feel myself purring from deep within my third chakra. Nedda asks if I am part feline. I tell her "Yes, that must be the case," remembering vividly that with the birth of each of my three boys I roared like a lioness at each contraction during the 'ring of fire' at the crowning of the head. Unafraid, trusting the process - being with that power of Kundalini Shakti. In my horoscope, having Leo rising and my moon in Leo confirms yet again, that yes, there is plenty of feline in my make-up.

Tomorrow Nedda will give Loulou and Pepper each a distance treatment to clear their energy bodies in preparation for the surgery. On Monday she will give the veterenary clinic a clearing. We are all so much more at ease after this session. Love is buzzing. Fear has dissipated. Love has a way of doing that: transforming fear into trust. What a gift! Thank you Nedda, for your assistance, for who you are, and what you do!

Thank you Loulou and Pepper for showing your Love and trust. Thank you Frodo for who you are, for your assistance and your news!

In Loving Light,
Nell ;-)

Ever had one of those emails where you are given several scenario's as to what happens when you don't pass it around, and the amazing good luck you will receive when you forward it? It usually contains some sort of poem, with a few words that may pull on the heart strings.

Well, I received one today of all places within my sacred GoddSCircle. So I had to work it all out in a reply:

"Right, let's all be afraid to die or have someone we love die on us!

Of course we can prevent any deaths from occurring just by forwarding this email.

And if it works for you, by all means be a prisoner of the 'time factor'.

No offense, dear GoddS friend, but I know crap when I smell it ;-)

I have yet to meet the person who has married the love of her life, has three children and is in a constant state of bliss. Happily married with three children? That's a tall order. Kids are all growing up and take turns having an occasional crisis, and the best we can do is love them and ourselves through it. Be present to every moment to see if action is required, or quiet acceptance.

Celebrate the commitment to being present as a child, a parent, a partner and ultimately as a Divine expression. 

Listen to your inner GoddS.

Here's what I can appreciate from the poem:

Remember  to always say what you mean.